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Showing posts from May, 2013

Not all those who wander are lost

'Not all those who wander are lost'. One of my most favourite quotes by JRR Tolkien (Author of Lord of the Rings Trilogy). I think it is actually means a lot in my situation. I find some days in between treatments often find myself lost. I wish I could have more treatment, I get anxious not knowing if it is really working, or what the future holds. I see my friends going to to Uni, or starting new jobs and I was supposed to be in their shoes? However, I must not reflect on that and go down my Cancer Journey path. I feel lost as know one really I know personally has gone though what I am going through exactly, a person who has GBM. Recently met a few guys who have had cancer and it did feel really comforting. I knew exactly what they were saying, the emotions, the experiences, the lost of friends and family, and the lost of their own personal self. You will never be the same person ever again, and I feel not the same person, but too be honest I am loving this version of myself

Kindness of animals

(I am writing this now, as my dog as unfortunately surprised and shocked me as I had to rush him to Veterinary surgery this lunchtime as I found him in the lounge room with blood everywhere, he is now fighting for his life with a serious heart problem, infectious mouth disease and gastro, all of a sudden) Ever since I have come home from surgery, my best friend, my companion for over 11 years has notice the changes in me. Charlie has always been affectionate and protective of me, but ever since I was diagnosed for no joke he has become more affectionate and aware of what's going on. When I first came home from surgery, a few nights I would be woken up by Charlie licking my scar. Worried about me and seeing what he can do to help. When I first started radiotherapy and the chemotherapy cycle 1 treatment he started to become more clingy. The chemotherapy toxic tablets I was taking I had to do it in a specific cycle in the morning. 7am to 9am without fail. After a few times, with

Finding yourself again

4 weeks of no radiotherapy and Chemotherapy. It's like a small dose of Heaven. Being touched based with the world again and being bendable. What does a cancer warrior do in his time off? Despite the body detoxing the toxins and crap out of the body, he finds his place in the world again. Sure I have to go into hospital for the clinical trial but that is a great day. Better than a birthday or Christmas, a chance to save my life. 2 weeks ago I promised my partner Jessica if my MRI came back stable we would celebrate. I promised her we would spend a few nights in the city (praying I'm physically well) and be a couple again. No cancer talks, no appointments just an appointment in a beautiful hotel and a restaurant along south bank. Tell you what my MRI came back stable and we were fully over the moon. It was our 1 year anniversary this year but couldn't celebrate it due to bring in hospital however I have been saving up for nearly the whole year for that occ